A Bug's World

Great Expectations of Children

It continues to amaze me how much our expectations can shape the reality. More specifically, how our expectations of our children shape their behavior. I get up every morning dreading the daily battle of dressing, feeding, hair brushing. And because I dread it, the trials come to pass. Okay, maybe not just becasue I expect it; some of it is due to the fact that she is 3. David on the other hand just "expects" it to all go well and that she will listen and that she can be talked out of any ill mood. And it works. Mostly. But then he is Daddy.

How can she not just do whatever it is he asks of her? Especially when he is so full of wonderful knowledge for her. This last week he taught her some very important information. For the last couple of weeks, the Bug has decided to be "Ariel" the mermaid. She sings her special mermaid song and then goes on and on about how the sea witch has stolen her voice. (Obviously the witch needs some practice if we still get to hear the story, over and over.) Well, David has taught her some grand information. So now, whenever asked she will tell you the problem with mermaids:

Not enough fish to eat; not enough girl to love.

It's just expected that she will remember such wonderful tidbits.

Nuthin' Special

More happy makers:

Not only do I have a scheduled day for the operation, but they have megoing into the hospital about 24hours befor hand. This is a happy thought because then maybeI will have time to not stress about it and possible some good sleepy time meds so that i actually sleep through the night. And as terrible as it sounds,I think I might even be looking forward to the catheter just so i don't have toget my big roly poly butt out of the bed. Yeah, that's sort of miserable.

I have only gained between 15-17 pounds with this pregnancy. That's a great thingas I put on close to 60 pounds with Bug. There is actually a possibility that I might actually come out of this pregnancy smaller than when I started. Which of course the nurse at my doctor's office was kind enough to point out was still 60 -100 pounds over my "ideal" weight. Easy to say when one barely wears a size 4.

My child eats carrots and broccoli. She will sit down and eat a dinner of carrots and brocclie and lunch meat faster and more readily than a can of Chef Boyardee. Somewhere, some how I did something right.

Oh, and she tells her daddy he has a "pumpkin head", but mommy doesn't.

So the good out weighs the bad most days.

Surprise Holiday Hit

Who would have ever guessed that the Bug's favorite holiday movie would be "King Kong"? Oh sure, she has "Rudolph", "Frosty", "Santa Claus is Coming to Town", and any number of other movies. But this season, for whatever reason, the big ape taking away the pretty girl seems to have become a favorite. She really gets into the movie - yelling at the monkey, telling pretty girl to run and just generally being terribly alarmed but all the going ons. Well, her interest lasts until they get back to New York and it really starts turning kind of mushy. Can't blame her there.

Just more proof that our child is indeed a little bit off.

No Nursing Home For Me

After all I saw and learned about nursing homes over the last two years, I think I have been given a solution. This was an email that was sent to me. i haven't checked the validity of any of it, but doesn't this sound so much nicer?
____________________

About 2 years ago my husband and I were on a cruise through the western Mediterranean aboard a Princess Cruise Liner.

At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I also noticed that all the staff, ships officers, waiters, busboys, etc., all seemed to know this lady

I asked our waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told that she owned the cruise liner, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back.

As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises."

She replied, "Yes, that's true."

I stated, "I don't understand"

She replied, without a pause, "It's cheaper than a nursing home."

So, since then, I have decided that there will be no nursing home in my future.

When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135. per day.

That leaves $65. a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room serv ice (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week)...no extra charge.

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night...all at my disposal.

4. They have free toothpaste, razors, soap and shampoo and hand lotion.

5 They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. Oh, and an extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

7. TV not working? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? ....No problem! They will fix or replace everything and apologize for your inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best..................
Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go?

Princess will have a ship ready to go when you are ready to see the world in style!

So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

PS: And, don't forget, when you die - they just dump you over the side at no charge.

Watch Out Betty Crocker!

Today I bought and put together a small kitchen set for bug. Fits nicely in a corner, has afew pots and cups, just enough stuff. Now, I bought this looking at the box and the dimensions it said and thinking (very foolishly) that maybe there would be a little bit of assembly, but not too much as the box seemed about the size of the set. Have I mentioned this was foolish thinking on my part? There were a gajillion little plastic pieces and screws. Okay, maybe only about 90 or so. And all of that prefab plastic stuff that you got to cut apart and then trim the extra. Oh, and you must also devise a systme the tell the peices you need apart from the scrap plastic.

There went 2 hours of my life that I will never regain.

However our dear bug loved it. Hugged me, squeezed me told me thank you. Played nicely while I was putting it together, stayed out of the way, and fed me pretend food and juice on the little plastic plates.

And she only repeated "Damnit" twice and "F##k" once. (But then she also said "Holy shit!" after David exclaimed it while changing her diaper.)

Moral: cooking = good ; cursing =bad.

"Be Happy!"

One of Bug's favorite gifts this holiday is a stuffed black cat that is very similar to the 19 yr old live black cat of mine that lives with my mom. BUg loves to play with Scruffy when we vist, so she immediatle name this cat Scruffy and started playing with her.

Last night in the kitchen, she was playing with the cat. She had it pressed down on the floor, all four legs spread. She was pressing its face into the floor and yelling , "Be Happy !! "

Some how it epitomized the whole press of the holidays to me.

One of "THOSE" moms

We went trick-or-treating last night. At. The. Mall. It was almost depressing. Halloween used to be my most favorite time of year. Come on..you dress up, stay out late, and get to beg friends and strangers to support your sugar habit. But we don't really do the door to door thing any more. Maybe a little bit here and there. But not as the norm.

Malls and shopping centers. Yes, I know it suppose to be safer. But what I really think is that it was just another way for retailers to take over yet another holiday and make it theirs and make a profit. MWAAAAAAHHH!!! The EVIL RETAILERS strike again! They get us all out to the malls so they can't start on the Christmas pitch even earlier. With kids in tow...who are also looking ahead to writing their Christmas lists. I swear to you, dear internet, Christmas decorations started going up in our Big Mall almost two weeks ago. Sant's North Pole was already assmbled last night. It's sad..and it should stop. But trust me, Congress doesn't care about this cause.

But, the bug-a-boo had a good time. She had practiced saying trick or treat all day. Didn't say it once at the mall. She knows how and when to say thank you. Didn't hear it once last night, despite attempted prompting. But she got candy..becasue she is cute. Heck...just look below at he in costume. Could you deny her candy if she came up to you, held out her bag and just looked at you with those big brown eyes? I doubt it. And she got to sit in the fire engine out side the mall...she loved that.

We didn't cover the entire mall...but we got a could 50%. Which is fine...because she can't eat half the stuff she got. Laffy-Taffy..no. Hard candies...no. Buble-gum...not in this lifetime. She gets the suckers and lollipops, and some of the chocalate.

Yep..I am one of those moms who inspect the candy haul..even from the mall. Anything partially opened, or with a hole, or looking like it might have been last years leftover (as if it matters with all the damn sugar and stuff) goes in the trash. All the other stuff she can't eat went to David's office. And anything left I get to dole out at my discretion. I'm such a control freak.

Smart People

Olny srmat poelpe can.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.
The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it denos't mtater in waht oredr the ltetres in a
wrod are, the olny iprnoatmt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be
in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed
it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not rae d ervey
lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas
tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

if you can raed tihs psas it on !!

The things people forward....and yet I still find myself amused.

It Must be the Two's

Now that she is two:

1. We have moods...often bad...for no known reason.
2. We have pencil scribbles on the wall.
3. Diapers are no longer desirable...in fact, she doesn't even like clothes.
4. "Momma momma momma momma" Can I get a name change?
5. "Milk" doesn't just mean milk any more...it can be anything in the kitchen and we get to play a guessing game that often leads to bad moods..all around.
6. No more pacifer...except for bed time.
7. Constant chatter...most unreconizable as English. Maybe part Klingon?
8. Throwing things and swinging things.
9. Extreme independence. In everything. I brought this on myself, i know mom.
10. Random affection...and this is what keeps two year olds alive I beleive.

Still working on that album...and will put up Halloween pics soon.

Where was I?

Oh yes...bragging about what a wonderful endearing daughter I have. We traveled to Texas for my stepfather's mother's 90th birthday. Lots of his family in town. It was a surprise party. You hear that?? A surprise party for a 90 year old. Thank God she doesn't have heart problems! It went over very well and she was very surprised and happy to see everybody.

And of course my darling bug showed off and played and did wonderfully marvelous talented things. She has rally taken to dancing and singing randomly. We know she is singing by the way her voice goes up and down and sounds lyrical...though way way out of tune. We have no clue what she is saying though. However, she does let us know when to clap: she throws out her arms and jumps her feet apart so she looks like a starfish and says "Taddallllaahhh!" (Which is "Ta Da!" for those of you needing the kidspeak to adult translator.) Yes, it is too precious and you must clap

A few brief notes of random development over the past few weeks:

1) She has started to act like a puppy sometimes. Especially if she doesn't want to do what I am asking of her. She drops to all fours, crawls around, says "Puppy Puppy Puppy" and wants me to pat her on the head. And seeing as i can't stop it I now just play along. Actual one sided conversation ('coz of course Puppies can't speak) ME: "Come on , be a good puppy-girl. Come here, roll over...that's it rollover on your back. Good girl...good puppy." Just so I could change a diaper. I'm not ashamed..I'm using creative management techniques.

2) For some odd reason she has decided at random to be afraid of the bath. Not everytime, but often enough to make me try and wonder why. The only reason I have discovered...because she is two and wants to affect her enviornment in any way possible. Now, when she does eventually take the bath, she still gets in there, swims around and has a blast and doesn't act afraid of anything. It's a "2" thing..i know it.

3) She is finally starting to share! I actually saw her hand another child a ball and let them keep it. And she smiled about it! Granted...the whole sharing concept didn't really want to work while we were in TX and there were lots of other grandkids around. She didn't want to share her toys, her snacks, her space and least not her Poppy. Yeah..thast's what she started calling my step-dad. Isn't that just adorable? And my father in-law...she started calling him Poppa or Paw Paw this week. But there is still only one mommy.

Here is a pic of my mother with all her grandchildren. Of course, my bug is the only one that is biologically hers...and she is the one that looks the most like my stepdad and the least like my mother. Aren't genetics a hoot?

In any case..we are home and I will have lots more to say over the next week. If I can keep up.

Oh..and coming soon, a new album. Months 18 -24. WooHOOO...look out modeling world.