A Bug's World

Month Late - Content Short

Well, here is Thanksgiving time and I'm just getting around to posting about Halloween. I really don't know how that happens. Truly, I sit down to write something and then I get distracted by something else. Something else like, laundry or dishes or grocery run -- you know - the mundane things in life.

SO here are the girls on Halloween evening.

We went to the mall with PaPa and Grandma Sylvia. Erica seemed to enjoy looking around and seeing everything. We did not beg for candy for her. As far as I'm concerned, if they can't walk themselves then they really shouldn't be getting the candy. Jessica did pretty well about saying "trick or treat" and "thank you". Not sure one can tell, but she wore her little red cowboy boots with her Snow White costume. That's my "Cowboy Princess" ya'll.

I was amused to see that Jess has figured out that it is all about the loot. She politely said "thank you" most of the time -- but not until she looked in her bag to see what had been given to her. We stayed for about an hour -- which was really as long as any sane person can stand. And they were exhausted getting home.

Now, on a slightly side note, I have an issue with Halloween Costumes. Particularly with the whole "Slutification" of Halloween. I saw way too many teenagers out. that's fine, I can get passed that. But when you're coming to the mall, I really don't need to see the naughty nurse, or pillaged pirate wench or sexy bo peep. And what I find worse is that the costumes are sold as sort of trashy. It's one thing to modify or make up your own, but actually selling the costumes ready to wear already lloking like some Cartoon Fantasy Porn--- EEK.

Okay, I'm just old. And maybe jealous that I can't get away with wearing anything like that.

Split Shift

Over the last couple of years, I've gone back and forth about beating myself up about being a stay at home mom whose kids are in full time day care. Yeah, I'm a bit spoiled that way. But then I owned up to the fact that really, I'm a pretty decent housewife, just a crappy stay at home "mom". Don't see the difference? It's the kids! As a housewife I clean, cook, do laundry, shopping, minor household repairs, change lightbulbs, clean out closets, vaccuum, mop, dust, take out the trash -- you know all those types of chores. Now, add in the mom part with kids at home you have to add in all the rest. Diapers, entertaining, educating, totting them around, settling arguments, putting down for naps, feeding lunch and snacks, all that stuff that i really am just not up for doing ALL day long. My hat is off to those of you that do it. And I am in awe of those of you who even make it look easy.

But I have come to the realization, whether anybody wants to acknowledge it or not, that I do indeed work with the girls at least a full 8 hour day -- everyday. I just do it in a split shift. I do three hours in the morning from 5:30 - 8:30 am. Then I put in another 5 hours from about 4:00 pm - 9:00 (or later). Which means all the house wife stuff in the middle of the day is extra. And the weekends when I do it all together?? Well, I think that should be considered overtime. I certainly can't just say .. Nah, I'm taking the day the off. And the whole simple "wife" role seems non-exsistent when so overshadowed.

Maybe I'm just justifying why I'm not going back to work full time. The thought of doing all that on top of a job outside of the home which would require a wardrobe and makeup and commuting and tolerating other people....i don't think there is enough anti - anxiety medication available to make me cope.

Well, it's off to the kitchen. And those bathrooms are calling out my name rather loudly today.

CHONK

Chonk. Would you beleive that that is the nick name that David and Jssica have begun to affectionately call Erica? now, I now i was calling her piglet, and some might see that as a little derogatory. But, Chonk? Seriously.

And worse than that, I've started using it too. To say she is a good eater is putting it mildly. Right now I wake her up at 10:00 pm to feed her the last feeding of the night. I get her up, change her diaper, talk to her,sing to her, and feed her 6 ounces. And she never even opens her eyes.

Bug is actually doing pretty well with her. She likes to kiss her head in the morning and "pets" her little fuzzy baby head. She gets a little frustrated when I can't do something with/for her immediately because I'm already doing something for Erica. But I think that is to be expected.

Overall, I'm pretty please with both my girls. My Bug and my..ummm... Chonk.

Nuthin' Special

More happy makers:

Not only do I have a scheduled day for the operation, but they have megoing into the hospital about 24hours befor hand. This is a happy thought because then maybeI will have time to not stress about it and possible some good sleepy time meds so that i actually sleep through the night. And as terrible as it sounds,I think I might even be looking forward to the catheter just so i don't have toget my big roly poly butt out of the bed. Yeah, that's sort of miserable.

I have only gained between 15-17 pounds with this pregnancy. That's a great thingas I put on close to 60 pounds with Bug. There is actually a possibility that I might actually come out of this pregnancy smaller than when I started. Which of course the nurse at my doctor's office was kind enough to point out was still 60 -100 pounds over my "ideal" weight. Easy to say when one barely wears a size 4.

My child eats carrots and broccoli. She will sit down and eat a dinner of carrots and brocclie and lunch meat faster and more readily than a can of Chef Boyardee. Somewhere, some how I did something right.

Oh, and she tells her daddy he has a "pumpkin head", but mommy doesn't.

So the good out weighs the bad most days.

End of Year

Seems this year has been so very full of travel and and other events. But, I, no surprise, did not document so much of it. I plead that I've been busy. With making baby and doctor visits, the kids I volunteer with as a GAL, various trips, and then opening my mouth and ending up on the Home owners board of directors -- yeah I've been a bit busy. Oh yeah, also fixing Bug's new room, redoing our bedroom and just general clutter patrol. And did I mention I have no definition below my knees due to swelling and have some form of carpal tunnel syndrome as a result of this pregnancy? I'm not a good pregnant person. I don't glow or get bubbly. I swell and bitch.

Has to the happiness factor -- I am happy that my family is in genral healthy and that this baby is almost here. David mentioned the other day that good exercise for me would be to find three things to be happy about everyday. I'm pretty sure he means actual things and that just continued breathing and life doesn't really count. It is good advice; bet i could even find it in some of my therapy text or treatment planning models from school.

But something needs to change, and this is at least a cheap method of therapy. Just find three things that made me happy during the day - or that I could at least not be upset about. HMMM....

1. I managed to get all of the Christmas stuff in boxes today - except the tree. It will all probably sit around for weeks, but at least it is boxed.
2. Jessica went down for her nap before 5:00. that's good because then when I wake her up about 6:30 or so I know she at least got a good 90 minute nap which should help with this evenings plans.
3. Today when asked our names, she called me "pretty girl" and David "dippy". Now that's just good for a belly laugh.

Hope you all have a Happy New Year.

Florida Trip

A couple weeks ago we went down to Orlando for the weekend. But seeing as how our little Bug is just barely 3, and short, going to many of the theme parks was really out of the question. The rides just wouldn't have been fun..her not being tall enough, me being 5 months pregnant...yeah, aren't we the fun pair. So, instead, we opted for Sea World. A very reasonable idea seeing has how she LLLOOOVVVEEESS sea animals. She really enjoyed seeing all the animals. There were lots of underwater viewing areas so that she could see everything. Sea lions, dolphins,, manatees...even penguins. Bugaboo calls the manatees "sea elphies", as in elephants. We also went to Discovery Cove across from Sea World. This was an amazing interactive park. We were able to swim with fish, sting rays and had we wanted dolphins! Now, Bug didn't really take to the idea of actually swimming with her favorite friends, but we still had a wonderful time.

Overall, it was an awesome trip that I h ope we get to repeat when she gets a little older.

Age Makes a Difference

When your cute little two-month-old lays on her back and pulls her toes up to her mouth and smiles becuase she has discovered something new about her body, it's cute.

But when your two-YEAR-old lays on her back and pulls her toes up to her mouth and proceeds to rip off her toe nails with her teeth, make faces at you and say "Yuck!",..well..that's just not right.

When Your cute little newborn gives you a smile and you know it's because of gas, it's easy to still love him because it is unintentional.

But when your toddler squats and grunts and then smiles at you even though you were trying unsucessfully to get him to the potty before the diaper got full, it's just not as easy to not want to pick him up and shake him.

When that brand new bundle of joy cries out out night because he needs food, or a new diaper, or just reassurance, you give it lovingly, even if half asleep, because she needs you.

But when your small little person, who during the day insists on doing things all by herself, screams and crys out of anger and stubborness for you to do something or get something that she has proven over and over again that she can get by herself it's just hard to not yell and cry back.

I think all two year olds are neurotic with some definite psychotic tendencies.

Saddest Thing

Our Bug is sick. It's a common cold, that will go away by itsself..I hope. She coughs and coughs. Right now she is laying next to me on the couch and is trying to sleep. But every few minutes she has a coughing fit that wakes her.

And I can't do anything for her. I tried to give her cough suppressant that would alos aid in sleep, but she wouldn't take it. She has a fever of about 102. I just hate that she's not getting good rest...which means neither will I. Again.

What a Year

Well, we head back down to Texas tomorrow morning. My maternal grandfather passed away yesterday, so we will be going down for that funeral. I don't have to manage things, so that's nice. I don't really have the responsibility of having to go through any stuff..also nice. But I just hate being at this age where older realatives start dying. But it is part of life, I know.

We were not overly close despite the many summers I spent at their farm. He was always working, and he wasn't that much of a talker...that is until became an adult with my own child. And then he spoke more...and I realized that he still had a fairly heavy Maine accent. I also learned, some about his time in the service, when he served on a submarine during World War II. He used racial slurs, but never really meant them racially. And when pictures are side by side..my baby brother is the spitting image of him. It's funny how perspectives change as we get older.

He was not ever much of a church goer...from my expierence. But that doesn't mean he wasn't religious. His church was the field; his pew the tractor; his tithe the labor. His prayers said between him and God with only the birds and the breeze to hear. And though I didn't know him very well or very personally, I think I know what those prayers were. " Dear lord, provide what is needed so that I can provide for those who need me. "

Yeah..Maybe overly simple or overly romantic, but somehow, I think it fits.

Grandma's Obituary

Ms. Jewell Dale, born Dec. 15, 1910, in Sweetwater, TX, went to be with the Lord on June 3, 2005, in Longview, TX.  Ms. Dale had devoted 42 years to the the service of children as a first grade teacher and and school principal.  She retired from teaching in both New Mexico and Texas.  Jewell and her husband retired to Graham, TX, where she lived for nearly 30 years. She was a charter member of the Mu Lambda Chapter of Delta Kappa Gamma in Graham.  SHe was an active member of the First Baptist Church and gave freely of herself and her time.  Jewell volunteered in many aspects of her community, including serving juice in "the old folks' home" until 2001. She was proceeded in death by her husband, J.W. Dale, of Bonham, TX, in 1982 and by her only son, Gerald Lynn Dale, in 1994.  She is survived by her granddaughter; Jennifer Swanner, grandson; Wesley Dale, great-granddaughter; Jessica Swanner, daughter-in-law; Joyce Dale-Gercak; two sisters; Madeline Hankins and Arlie Rodgers, and by numerous neices and nephews.  Jewell brought a strength and a light to everything she did and she will be truly missed.  Services will be held at Cooper-Sorrells Funeral Home in Bonham, TX on Tuesday, June 7, 2005.  Visitation will be at 1:00 p.m with the service to follow at 2:00 p.m.